To be the world's fattest woman... NEW CONTENDER!

A while back I wrote about a behemoth Donna Simpson who aimed to be the world's fattest woman.  As absurd as this sounds, there is a new heavyweight in town! 

Susanne Eman is currently tipping the scales at about 728 lbs.  Her long term goal is 1600 lbs and hopes to get there by consuming an entire grocery store 20,000 calories a day!  She only goes to the grocery store once a month (with the help of her two kids) and spends about 8 hours filling up 6 shopping carts.  I'm guessing she isn't rolling around on a standard issue hover round. 

Why would anyone take on such a goal to be the world's fattest woman?  Well, supposedly Susanne couldn't lose weight and instead of exercise, eating less, eating better thus decided it simply easier to eat her self to the fattest woman on the planet.  Not to worry, she is going about this "the right way" by regular blood sugar and blood pressure checks.  Additionally, she is visiting here doctor to monitor (?) her weight gain. 

Since I know you have been dying to know, here is what Susanne typically eats.  I saw this in a British article (yes there are more pics if you are really that curious) and thus some strange references to "crisps" which us "yanks" call chips.

Breakfast: 6 x eggs scrambled, cooked in butter 468 cals. 1/2 pound bacon 1,168 cals, 4 x potatoes as hash browns 672 cals, 6 x pieces toast with butter 600 cals, 32 ounce cream shake 1,160 cals. Snacking 1 x bag of animal cookies 1,950 cals, 2litre bottle of soft drink 800 cals, 1 x 10.5 ounce bag of barbecue flavour crisps 1,650 cals, 3 x ham and cheese sandwiches 1,576 cals.

Lunch: 3 x beef, bean and green chilli burritos with 1 x cup of sour cream 1,453 cals. Salad (1 head lettuce, 1 cup cherry tomatoes, 1 cup carrots, 1 cucumber, 1/2 cup ranch dressing, bacon bits, 1 cup crumbled cheese, 1 cup chicken 1,479 cals.

Dinner: 12 x filled tacos + 1 x cup sour cream 4,906 cals, 2litre bottle of soda 800 cals, Dessert 8 x scoops vanilla ice cream 2,080 cals, 1 x small pan of brownies 1,200 cals.

Total: 21,962 calories

Jamba: Cheeseburger Chill Smoothie

Liquid Lunch BRO!  That's what my old corporate America co-workers would shout as they rushed out to Hooters to throw down as many beers as possible before the magical one hour lunch vanished.  Kids, not only is it bad to come back to work with buffalo wing sauce all over your izod tie, there is a better way to DRINK YOUR CALORIES!!!!

Jamba Juice packs about 3,000 calories worth of sugar in most of their fruity smoothies, but who wants fruit calories!?!  Jamba has taken the goodness of a cheeseburger and blended it into a wonderful smoothie.  Disgusting? It all depends on when you drink it, and I can guarantee it will look exactly the same after your body processes it (vomit or poo, your choice).

KFC: The Double Down

I think I just threw up a little bit.  Listen folks, the Atkins diet has now become an underlying hypnotic message that the breadless bun-less food you are viewing is somewhat more "healthy" for you.  We've reached the pinnacle of ridiculous with KFC's new Double Down Sandwich.  Straight from the horse's chicken's mouth: 

This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce. This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!

I agree bacon does make it better, but it will take more than bacon to make me ingest this piece of filth.  There is good news; I know that many people struggle with getting enough sodium in their diet.  This is become quite the challenge in our current fast food era, but not to worry because this sandwich boasts over 50% of the sodium your body needs!  

If you would like more information you can visit the official site and watch the count down until your arteries close the sandwich is released.