Journal

Bad Company 2: Grenade PSA

2010-03-18T15:17:34Z

Well kids, I hope by now you have picked up your copy of Battlefield Bad Company 2. It is a ton of fun to play, and you can catch my full and detailed review at Gear Patrol. The comparison between BC2 and Modern Warfare 2 continues to rage on. Truth be told, they are quite different games, but as two FPS giants in the gaming world competition arises. BC2 threw in a few subtle jabs throughout the first person campaign. References to snowmobile races as well as this quote:

They [Military] are just going to send those Special Forces douche bags with heart beat sensors on their rifles.

The newest stab at MW2 has materialized in the form of a new PSA against grenade spamming.

Video Games | Battlefield: Bad Company 2 | Anti-Grenade Spamming PSA

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

In case you missed the original MW2 vid that BC2 is parodying, you can view it below.

Hats off EA, BC2 has replaced my love of MW2. Best thing yet? I have yet to see a hacker in BC2!!!!!

Goal: To Be Fattest Woman EVER!

2010-03-15T17:11:08Z

I'm going to file this under the worst goal EVER made; this behemoth fatty lardo woman is trying to be the fattest of them all (I suppose that question would be asked to a magic microwave instead of a magic mirror). She has already "championed" the fattest mother record (she weighed about 530 lbs at the time of her daughter's birth), but is really pushing the limit and aiming for the 1,000 pound mark. She is currently tipping the scales at about 600 lbs.

How does one attain such a weight status? Well, by simply consuming 12,000 calories a day! WTF?!? I'm sure that is more than a whole starving third world nation village consumes in week. She gorges herself eats massive quantities of sweets and fast foods, and doughnuts are her favorite. Her weekly food budget is about $815. One may be curious as to the occupation of this scooter driving preview of a heart attack woman, and I was quite surprised to hear she operates her own business. She setup a website in which she eats fast food on a webcam, and creepy men who drive vans with bubble windows paying subscribers watch.

Sorry fellas, this beast is taken. She met her feeder "partner" on a fatty dating site. "Philippe" (who coincidently also answers to "BRING ME MORE FOOD!") is very encouraging of her weight gain, and I'm sure will feed her to her goal weight.

I think I may have just thrown up in my mouth a little :(

You can read the full "news" story here.

Epic Holster Fail

2010-03-11T17:46:08Z

Um... that's not how it works :( Pointing a weapon at your face isn't a good way to engage the enemy. Check out quick draw mcgraw show off his amazing skills.

Iron Man 2: Epic Trailer!

2010-03-08T18:28:38Z

In case you missed it at last night's Oscars, the new Iron Man 2 trailer is amazing. Iron Man 2 is going to be epic and I can wait to see the scores of Iron based machines duke it out. Scar Jo, Pepper Pots, and lots of explosions will make this film incredible; topless Russian accented Mickey Rourke... meh.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Top Gear Biathlon Drive By

2010-02-26T16:51:22Z

A lot of crappy American shows are birthed in British roots. Creative Lazy Hollywood exec's figure that if it did well with the limeys across the pond they can make an American version that will do amazingly well. Shows such as The Office, American Idol, and Dancing With the Stars all came from the Brits. WHY THE HELL ISN'T THERE AN AMERICAN TOP GEAR!?!? I love watching Top Gear and a US version would be epic. A pilot was shot some years back featuring Adam Carolla but never came to light.

Enough with my limey ramblings. Top Gear is a bad ass show and they take a new twist on the biathlon by using SUV's and MP5's versus skiis and .22's. Enjoy :)

Top Gear Biathlon

hat tip firearm blog

Your Hotel Room Is Not Safe

2010-02-23T20:26:17Z

Almost all modern hotels use those fancy credit card style locks. A quick swipe and you are back into your comfortable $59.95 Motel 6 room. Well lo and behold those locks are not safe! They are easily picked opened from the inside with a cool looking folding wire. How does it work? Well a suspicious man wearing glasses carries a long metal tool down the hallway of your hotel. He finds his target and slides the wire under the door to pull down the handle. Bam! Full access to clothing and sunscreen lotion from that vacationing family in room 127! If you stuff a towel in the handle it protects you... sorta.

hat tip gizmodo

Boar vs. Hunters

2010-02-18T18:06:51Z

Boar hunting is friggin dangerous. I took home two boar last year and they really are nasty beasts. Strong as hell, and tusks that will tear apart flesh hill sides. These hunters are trudging through the bush looking for bacon a trophy boar. At about 16 seconds you can see the beast charge from the bushes. Fat boy who was on point takes a dive and puts himself in harms way. He damn near gets taken out by the boar as well as the muzzle of his fellow shooter by being down range. It is hard to tell if it was an instant kill, but the boar tumbles down the hill with the bacon chaser. The story will forever be told amongst these fellows around cold cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon Natty Ice as the best time they had bringing home the bacon.

HBO's The Pacific: Iwo Jima

2010-02-16T17:03:22Z

A new trailer has been released for The Pacific showcasing Iwo Jima. I can't wait for this series and I have a feeling it will be pretty intense.

Iwo Jima Preview

Taco Bell Burrito Wrapped in Bacon and Sausage

2010-02-10T18:06:52Z

Many moons ago a lonely chef decided it was a good idea to take a bunch of crap sitting around the kitchen and roll it into a single entree. The burrito gyro Big Mac Wrap Chicken Cordon Blue was born and has been the bane of every business meeting and hotel wedding I have ever attended. I genuinely think ham, breaded chicken, and gooey sauce were never meant to inhabit the same plate let alone wrapped together.

The modern retelling of this tale is created with the Hot Pocket a concoction of a Taco Bell burrito encapsulated by a breakfast sausage and then jacketed in bacon. This fine dining blue plate special has been affectionately dubbed The Fattie. Where did that name come from? Perhaps the owner named it after his own stature because there is no way in hell such a thing could have been invented by anyone that dares to live past 50.

I must admit that although I'm thoroughly disgusted, if I were to gaze upon a fattie at a party I would certainly try a piece. The difficult part is wrapping my mind around the creativity and effort that went into making a Taco Bell burrito even more unhealthy.

Alas, there are several breeds of fatties and lo and behold there is even a dessert fattie. Why? Well, after consuming the taco bell fattie, and taking 10 years off your life the next logical step would be to eat a dessert wrapped in bacon and sausage.

Doesn't that look yummy! If you look closely you can see the diabetes wrapped inside! If you would like to know more about this creations visit The Smoking Meat Forums.

Reporter Tests Bullet Proof Clothing, With Bullet

2010-02-04T18:06:12Z

Only in Columbia would you find a tailor that creates custom bullet proof clothing. He has a variety of styles and colors which are worn by famous dictators leaders across the world. What really makes this story interesting that he has all employees go through a rite of passage in which they don the kevlar jacket and take some lead to the gut. I guess that is true belief in the product :)

Anyway, a reporter "poor man's Tom Green" looking dude and a camera stop by the factory to take a bullet. The video is a bit long, so you can fast forward to 8:17 to see the action.

I've read and heard of folks who took rounds through kevlar/plates and that it leaves a massive bruise. There is a lot of energy behind the bullet and the vest is stopping penetration, not force. I don't necessarily doubt the Columbian products, but if I had to guess the bullet he was hit with had a much lighter load of powder than a standard round.